Jeremy Online

Who am I to question the desires of the heart when it comes to web browsers? Also, one of Kenneth’s cousins? Really? Because of the Gordon family Buffalo Chicken is now an endangered species.

Love,

Jeremy

allisons:

jeremyonline:

I am leaving you for Safari. This is a difficult decision, but I know it in my heart to be the right one. We’ve had some great times together, we really have. Bringing me to Facebook, CollegeHumor, Gmail, you handled it all like a pro. But I just can’t deal with your weird behavior and random crashes anymore. Safari is faster, and more stable. And stability is what I’m looking for right now. I hope that there are no hard feelings. I’m not uninstalling you, and I still want to be friends. It’s just time for a change.

Love,

Jeremy

Dear Jeremy,

I am leaving you and replacing you with one of Kenneth’s cousins because they allegedly all look like him and at least one is bound to be fun.  I know that Firefox has been crashing like a mofo lately, but is that really a reason to leave it for that half-rate slut Safari?  I, for one, would have expected you to shift to Chrome if you felt a change was that necessary.  I am ashamed.

Love,

Ali